How to Deal with your Critics

Too often you forget about enjoying the journey. Instead you’re trying to get that role or on the books with that agency. As soon as you don’t, you get really down, upset or even a little bit bitter especially when someone waters your seed of doubt.

 

It’s the industry we’re in folks; dog-eat-dog.

 

It’s discouraging when someone we trust or confide in goes behind our back or goes for a job we want. Or people slightly exaggerate the jobs they’ve done in order to appear superior to you.

 

Or worse than that, they badmouth you and/or indirectly write blogs about the way you are doing things.

 

Guess what? I’ve had all of the above. And continue to.

 

Meh.

 

Over the years I’ve learnt that they’re only here to remind you and I: we’re doing it right.

 

They lack the talent that you have.

 

So let me tell you, you’re doin’ it dayyyummm right!

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But…. doesn’t it get a little overwhelming? The more you succeed, the more naysayers you attract. Naturally, you believe them!

 

You don’t have to worry about the things they say because they project how they are feeling on the inside.

 

Think about it: When you are jealous/envious of someone else, they often have something you lack, something you passionately desire. i.e. perfect job, great relationships, amazing talent etc.

 

So…Remind yourself how lucky you are and how hard you have worked to be where you are now.

 

And never forget who helped you.

 

In fact, remember the people who have helped you and forget “Negative Nancy”

 

List all the people who have helped you get here today and thank them. Stand out as a respectful, gracious and generous actor.

 

Mentors:

List all the mentors, teachers, professionals who have nurtured and opened doors for you. Send a brief thank you note and wish them well without expecting anything in return. When you reach out to a person in a professional capacity make sure you address them with “Hello” or “Dear” followed by their name.

 

Artists:

Has an actor moved or inspired you at a performance you watched? Has someone else won an award you wanted? You don’t have to know people to let them know how much they have inspired you. It’s not always about making connections or receiving a reply but it’s about letting an artist know how much their work meant to you.

 

Return calls and emails:

Never ignore an email or call. It will come back to bite you when you are in need of a favour. Good manners will benefit and forge a career path you would have never expected.

 

Yourself:

And above all else, don’t forget to be nice to you. We’re so used to the internet where things happen at a click of a button and we forget things take time. Treat yourself and thank yourself for following your dream. Not everyone does.  Be gracious, be respectful and be very very grateful to you.

 

It’s challenging. It’s a rollercoaster. I understand what you are all going through hence the reason why I built this website.

So let’s hit refresh button on our own mind, body and spirit. Just like you would on a web browser.

Just like *that* you can remember: you’re doing it dayyyum right!

 

As always, I love hearing from you! Write in the comments section below what helps you overcome negative comments, critics and naysayers!

 

Tons of love and appreciation,

 

jacqueline

 

 

12 comments to How to Deal with your Critics

  • Ray Sinclair  says:

    Don’t buy into it , I say what people , think and say about me is none of my business
    Unless you’ve walked in my shoes , you cannot possibly know how I feel or believe
    And that goes for all of us , do not be so quick to judge on partial knowledge
    Seek out good company ,that is positive supportive and actually shows an interest
    Jealousy ” blowing out someone else’s light , will not make yours shine brighter ” :)

    • Jacqueline Alliss  says:

      I love that quote Ray! Thanks for taking the time to share!

    • Anna Waters-Massey  says:

      And that Ray, is why I like working with you! Get your ass back to Australia so we can pretend to be married again. Twice just wasn’t enough! ha ha

      • Ray Sinclair  says:

        Anna , I may be back in Jan to shoot a few scenes in a feature , paid , but you know these things have a habit of falling over x.
        Jacqueline , thank you for your blog :) a positive in a tough industry

  • Gianna  says:

    Thank you so much for your wonderful blog. The acting Industry has to be one of the hardest career paths anyone can follow. I really appreciate your wisdom and encouragement.
    Warm regards,

    Gianna

    • Jacqueline Alliss  says:

      You’re most welcome Gianna! Thanks for reading and thank you for your kind note!

  • Jasmine Mente-Cammarano  says:

    I love this blog Jacqueline and I’m always reading your new posts and feeling better about my craft/my career, reassured, instructed, inspired, relieved because of them! I especially love this post because it’s true for all of life, we each have the choice of how much and which kind of negativity and positivity we allow into our lives, and what we block our of our lives. So thank you Jacqueline, for your warm and wise words of wisdom, for you never ending and active care for actors (and all players in the industry) and for also having mentored me directly in one of your fabulous audition classes. It is all much appreciated and I am very grateful for your help and contribution to the Perth industry.

    • Jacqueline Alliss  says:

      Hi Jasmine,

      What a lovely comment to read. It was a pleasure to mentor you and I wish you all the best. Wonderful to know I have made a small difference to your journey. I hope I continue to do so! Thanks for your comment and commitment to reading my posts.

  • Jeff  says:

    There is a cultural mindset, and this is not just arts and entertainment, that you shrug off positive comments (else you appear vain and self-important) while you take on the negative comments as a critical evaluation. The reverse should be true. We should welcome (with courteous respect) the positive support, and even the unspoken “well you’re not doing anything wrong” feedback, while carefully scrutinising the negative.

    Negative feedback should only be accepted when you can take something useful from it. In other words, it has to be constructive and give you clear ideas for improvement.

    When you start looking at how useful ANY comment/feedback is, you begin to realise how much is driven by rivalry and jealousy. Even the occasional positive comment can be rather useless in that they can sometimes by simple lip-service, but that is far batter than the out-right slander, offensive and envy (Trolling) feedback that dominates Social Media.

    Once upon a time the Trolls were easy to identify. These days, anyone can take offence simply because you are doing what they tell themselves they can’t, and then express their frustration for the whole world to see, yet most still prefer to do it anonymously. That just shows how worthwhile these comments really are.

    Next time you get a nasty comment, take a breath, allow yourself to get over the shock, and then re-examine the words. Find the meaning behind it… It will most often be petty and juvenile. Your success is hurting them, so go out there and succeed some more. You’re doing it right.

  • Kym Bidstrup  says:

    Thanks everyone for some really positive insights into critics, criticism and how to deal with both.
    After years of internalising and (sometimes) catastrophising criticism, I’ve come to three conclusions.
    And I stress that this is just *my* opinion; my way of dealing with it.
    The first is that – as in the famous “man in the arena” speech (Teddy Roosevelt; GOOGLE it if you’re unsure) – the credit really goes to the person in there *doing* it.
    The second is that – and I do *not* mean this in an arrogant way – I’ve come to realise that no-one else can play ****insert role here**** exactly the way I can; good, bad or indifferent.
    And that’s a great thing. I can be unique in the role. That will always mean some people won’t like what I do. They have the chance to hire/watch/audition another actor. But for me, it’s freedom. Freedom to do the best job *I* can. And freedom from the sting of (even well-intentioned) criticism.
    And the third thing is that the word “criticism” actually means to assess, to weigh up the situation, NOT to lay it low. Some critics forget that.

    Thanks Jacqueline for providing this forum AND for your insights.

    • Jeff  says:

      Liking these Kym.

      • Kym Bidstrup  says:

        Thanks Jeff. I appreciated your thoughts as well. This is a valuable forum, I believe :)

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